Negotiation - I

At some level, I think all of life is nothing but a series of negotiations. In the straightforward sense, we negotiate to win new projects or for partnerships or with employees for salaries. At another level we negotiate the time we spend between work, family and ourselves. But this post is not about the philosophy of negotiation, rather about key pointers to a successful negotiation. I do not claim to be the best negotiator out there, but I constantly try to learn from every won or lost deal.
1. Ask. This is the most important one, and the one thing most people forget to do. They simply forget to ask the price they really, really want. It's really as simple as that. If you don't ask, you won't ever get. Also, you usually want to ask for more than you expect to be happy with. The other side of this is to also ask all sorts of questions to the other party. I never hestitate to ask a client questions like which other companies have quoted for the project, and where in the list does the client rank us, and how we are placed on the pricing scale, and what their budget and time constraints are, and almost anything else other than the actual competitors' proposals!
2. Gasp. For any price offered to you, gasp! Act as if you're really not happy with it, and in most cases you actually won't be happy with that price. So express that emotion, and tell the other side, that their offer is simply unacceptable.
3. Counter-offer. Never be at the negotiating table with only one thing to be discussed and finalized. Always go with multiple options, and multiple things to be negotiated. Usually, most negotiations end up being about money, but always try and keep many things on the table, such as payment terms, future business, referrals, etc.
4. Be ready to walk away. This is the toughest. And is usually almost impossible. But ideally, you always want to go into a negotiation ready to walk away from it. The other thing is that you shouldn't really walk want to away from the deal. The successful negotiation is one where both parties get what they want, without one side waking up the next morning and thinking, oh shoot, we got screwed. So, while you should be ready to walk away, your goal should always be to arrive at the best possible solution that works best for both sides.
5. Nibble. Often once a negotiation has been settled, it's always worth your while to try and nibble for that bit more. To ask for a minor concession every now and then. Not the best way to win respect, but it's worth your while to walk to the door, turn around, and say, hey I was just thinking, what if we also...
6. Smile. Sooner or later, any serious negotiation will get tense. The atmosphere will darken up, and people will begin to get grumpy and grouchy. The best means to break the tension is to smile. Especially, if you follow that up with a call for a break, that often helps to break the deadlock. Meeting the same people at the neighbourhood coffee shop often changes the eventual result of the discussions.
7. Be discreet. For me, this is the hardest part of any negotiation. By nature, I am a very upfront and straightforward guy. Although, this is usually a positive thing, during negotiations blurting out all your thoughts and facts is foolhardy, and I often stand guilty of doing that. Holding back on critical information is the key to getting through to a succesful negotiation.
8. Shut up! This is even more important than just being discreet. This I am usually good at. Often during negotiations, when there is no headway being made, both parties will clam up. At this stage, you should never ever break the silence. This should usually be done by the other party or a mediator. Usually, the one to speak first is probably going to end up making concessions.
9. Do your homework. Remember information is indeed power. Get onto paper all the facts that help push your side of the story. Get as much information as you can about the other side. This is usually tough, but it does help to know. Assume that the other person is indeed not giving you the full version of the story, but do not accuse him/her outright of lying.
10. Control your emotions. Do not get too emotional during a negotiation, unless that's a ploy you intend to use. Remember Vito Corleone's "It's business, not personal". However, I recollect once storming out of a negotiation, and forgetting my jacket in the process, and coming back to retrieve it 5 minutes later. During that time, the other side felt a bit sorry that they had upset us so much, and offered another few thousand dollars on their last price.

Resources:
1. Secrets to power negotiating, Roger Dawson. This is one of the best books on negotiating that I have read.
2. Bargaining for Advantage, G. Richard Shell.